By Lee Pfeiffer
It's bad enough that CNN forces its anchors into those God-awful, cookie-cutter Ken and Barbie teams to co-host broadcasts. There is also no shortage of celebrity stories disguised as genuine news, stories about cute animals and star anchor Anderson Cooper's nightly cringe-inducing funny photo caption contest. Now comes a new low: CNN has introduced a new application for I Phones that allows consumers to get some pretty amazing updates. However, the network is too stingy to use its commercial breaks to promote the new app, because it would mean bumping out paid advertisers. Thus, the anchors have been forced to shill for the new application, with significant segments of news broadcasts devoted to having the hosts demonstrate how it works. The low point came tonight when Cooper, bringing boot-licking to a new level, threw in an enthusiastic remark that, at only $1.99, consumers couldn't afford not to have the new CNN application! Deceased cable pitch man Billy Mays has nothing
on the CNN team when it comes to shilling. What next? Maybe Cooper will
have to start using a CNN-brand Sham Wow to clean his desk while
delivering the news. When you wonder why the golden age of broadcast
news has passed us by, try to imagine what Walter Cronkite's reaction
would have been if someone tried to get him to shill for a product
while delivering stories. Mind you, there are still some excellent
reporters at the network, some of whom risk their lives to bring vital
segments to the air while Cooper and company keep the world informed of
the latest developments on Jon & Kate Plus 8. The network also still retains the services of top flight show host Howard Kurtz, who often uses his Sunday morning program Reliable Sources to criticize his own network. The
efforts of these genuine reporters are undermined by their employer's trivialization of the
news. CNN should just admit what its call letters stand for: Commercial
News Network. (Gotta run: Cooper just announced the next segment - something about "the world's fastest nudist." Sadly, I kid you not.)
